Get Brian Broadband

This petition is for Brian Collin's mother to get him broadband in the comfort of his own home.....

Dear Brian Collins's mummy,

Dial-up is crap. Broadband is great.

Did you know that your son is 10 times more likely to become a homicidal manic if he is using dial-up? I was at Brians house before and I nearly trashed your house due to the frustration of your family homes internet connection being so slow. I mean it's ridiculous. It's not even 56K, more like 33K.

I'm currently running at 4000K. That's right, 4000. I bet you can't even comprehend how much faster my internet connection is. Sure, I never leave my house and have hardly any friends, but at least my internet connection doesn't suck.

It's fact that Emily will never EVER get signed if you don't get him broadband. Is that what you want? Do you enjoy crushing peoples dreams? Do you your son to become a shell of his former self and turn to alcohol as his only release from the cess pool that life will become? I thought not.

Get B, BB.