Obama Grow a Mustache

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People of the world:

FOR TOO LONG the mustache has taken a backseat in fashion and overall aesthetic standards.

FOR TOO LONG the mustache has been ignored by public figures who fail to see its utility, especially in saving leftover food.

FOR TOO LONG a clean shaven, or perhaps bearded, look has taken precedence, despite the manliness of mustachioed figures like Tom Selleck or Walter Cronkite.

AS SUCH, I am calling on President Barack Obama to grow a mustache and revive a once proud tradition of Presidential, and American, mustachery.

Let's get the ball rolling, let's reconnect with our historic, hairy-upper-lipped roots. Let's end the awful anti-mustache discrimination that persists to this day in public life.

Mr. President, grow that mustache!
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