One Last Plea For Panamanian Return

We write to beg you one last time to please cart yourself back to Umm Hot Immigrant Bitches: your home and rightful realm. Your recent absence from the site and seeming disregard to all subsequent pleas for return have resulted in what can only be described as unadulterated anguish for all those associated with the blog. Where once we stood together, linked in a beautiful chain of love and mockery, now there lie a thousand tortured pieces: the broken vestige to that great network which once sat so proud and tall, looking down with contempt upon all others, like a mighty, derisive citadel of Troy or fair Minas Tirith. For a vital link in our chain has fallen away, and that link is you, baby.

This will be our final appeal (that might be a lie): Come back to us, please, or live with the noxious knowledge that you have irreconcilably razed our very spirits.