Patent America's English Language

The Senate today voted to make English the national language of the country, a small step towards protecting this country from mongrelization and Babelization.

But it's only a start. We cannot be satisfied with the current detente.

For example, federally funded schools from kindergartens to universities are teaching our children languages other than English.

Stopping our efforts now to hold a fiesta to celebrate our victory ignores the multicultural spiel that liberal America-haters are foisting on our children.

The French and the Germans and the Spanish have whole departments in universities around the country, where the elite require our children to take their voodoo classes in order to turn them into America-hating, non-English speaking kamikaze zombies.

We need to launch an armada of attacks using legal tomahawks if necessary on these Bolshevik cafй-going hoodlums who want to turn our children into robots with their mumbo jumbo. We need to turn them into pariahs.

But even more importantly we need to protect our language from those who use it against us to steal our jobs.

The coup de grace of those who hate America is their encouragement of non-Americans around the world to learn English and speak it without our permission. It's a bona fide problem. They use the purloined language to steal our jobs with carte blanche.

We need the Senate to patent, copyright and trademark English and stop these foreigners from ruining our language.

While this sentiment may be verboten among politicians in Washington D.C., they are out of touch with the zeitgeist.

The vox populi will be heard and anti-American Americans who want us to become a nation of mulattos who can't understand one another will soon have their Waterloo.

And then and only then can proud English-speaking Americans take a siesta and say, Veni, Vedi, Vici.