Petition to eliminate Dihydrogen Monoxide from use

We the following signators want the immediate elimination of dihydrogen monoxide from use in Wisconsin. We ask Wisconsinвs DNR take this action recognizing the following:
Dihydrogen monoxide:
в is called "hydroxyl acid", the substance is the major component of acid rain.
в contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
в may cause severe burns.
в contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
в accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
в may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
в has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
в as an industrial solvent and coolant.
в in nuclear power plants.
в in the production of styrofoam.
в as a fire retardant.
в in many forms of cruel animal research.
в in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
в as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
We acknowledge the difficulty the State will have complying with this demand. However, we also realize the significant impact this change will have on the lives of all those living in Wisconsin. We further ask that Wisconsinвs DNR work to eliminate dihydrogen monoxide from use throughout the Midwest and ultimately throughout the country.