Petition to unban Unknown

FREE UNKNOWN!

Sign the petition to have Unknown unbanned from Tigerdroppings.com. Unknown is a terrific humanitarian and in his spare time he helps at the local YMCA and even nurses sick puppies back to health. How could someone be as heartless and evil as to ban a person who does something as nice as that? People who wish for Unknown to stay banned are merely supporting the terrorists. Be a real American and throw open your arms and embrace the love that is Unknown. Except dudes. Unknown doesnt hug dudes.


Fun fact:
Unknown invented the popular "Beat a hobo down with a bag full of oranges" fad. Well, actually its not a fad yet, but he is currently working on it.

Now a message from Unknown himself:
"I'd like to thank the good woman who thought up this idea. The last time I was talked into doing something for a woman it cost me $11,000 in American Express bills and I woke up minus one testicle. So you'll forgive me if I'm just a bit suspicious, for we all know that leg shavers are NOT to be trusted!

I still have some time left so in closing I would like to read my High School Valedictorian acceptance speech.

*clears throat

"Fellow students, as we sit here today jamming to the soon to be timeless song 'My Own Prison by Creed we should be in awe of how humble the lead singer, Scott Stapp is and how Creed will live forever! I would like to make several predictions about what our future will hold for us young adults of the future. I believe that one day a fat governor from a small backward southern state will rise to the highest office in the land and will lack political skill, but will lead on the strength of his moral dignity. I believe that Iraq will be our biggest ally in the Middle East and that OJ Simpson will be put in jail for the obvious murders of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman. I believe that one day a high speed network of interconnected computers will spring up across the globe and make the work place so much more productive that people will lose interest in pornography and gambling. .....And then there's some stuff about the death of this new fad called "cell phones" but I see that my times up.

So as you can see, how could you go wrong by not following my suggestion that Unknown + tigerdroppings.com = greatness.


Oh and by he way......fear me...FEAR ME...FOR I WILL RETURN!

Oh, and another thing, I hate puppies and smelly stupid children. That's why I have neither. In fact, I am going out today to buy a rottweiler and a .45 just so those damn neighborhood kids will stop coming to my house on October 31st and beg for free candy. Hey kids, nothing in life is free, other than a STD from Paris Hilton. I love Timothy McVeigh, he's a national treasure and I voted for Pat Buchanan, twice in one election! I also think football is for sissies and dare any member of the Baltimore Ravens defense to challenge me that playing football takes a real man. And guess what, Mr. Ray Lewis? I am listed in the phone book so bring it on anytime. And another thing? The Oscars stunk. Take THAT buttsex mountain! Screw you Hollywood for being so damn preachy! And whats with all you damn handicap people out there. Maybe you can stop hogging all the best parking spaces to yourselves and let borderline retards like myself have a god space once in a while! Stop being such pigsOINK OINK OINK OINK OINK!