Save Sara!

Dear Friends,

While the great (eh, sub-par) State of Florida will not let me become the legal custodian of Sara Schweitzer (she scored one point too high on her IQ exam to claim mental disability although I personally question the accuracy of that test), she has been fortunate enough to have me make most of her life decisions for her. While I admit that most of these decisions have not been beneficial to Ms. Schweitzer but based solely on the entertainment value given to myself and Jamie Minton, I have taken pride in knowing that I advised (and by that I mean pushed) for Sara's last tattoo. Obviously, the glock on her rib cage screams "I'll cut you!" much like Sara is known to do after a bit of liquor.

However, Sara is now ready for her next tattoo (can't stay away from that needle too long, eh?). While Sara feels that the cover of "Where the Sidewalk Ends" would be beautiful etched on god knows what part of her body, I think we all agree that a bullet is more appropriate and more encompassing of what a total bad-ass (ha!) Sara really is.

So for the point of this ridiculously long petition: If we get 5 people to sign this petition, Sara will be peer-pressured beyond belief to get that bullet. Suggestions of where are more than welcome.

P.S. Sorry momma Schweitzer. You do not have to sign the petition.