Anti-Ben's Hair

Ben Crowell needs to cut his hair. It blinds people and he will be sued for making people sightless if he does not get a haircut. First of all, his hair is ugly. Extremely ugly. He is already not very good looking, and his hair adds to his hideousness. Secondly, his hair is "curvy," as in, it is not straight, which means he is gay. Finally, we can all conclude that he sucks and that if he doesn't cut his hair, the evil muffins will. Thank you for reading.