Anti-Caps Lock for Anti-Misogynism

Dear manufacturers of instruments of satan (keyboards),
Ever since the day "key" and "board" have been fused into a comprehensible english word, the war for gender equality, and all that it stands for, has been gravely undermined. The single largest roadblock between the goal of women in a modern society is not the "glass ceiling", but the key we so innocently refer to as "caps lock".
Yes, truly this small piece of plastic is the physical manifestion of misogynism in our world today and everyday, women everywhere are subjected to striking this key, sometimes, even repeatedly. So we are asking that manufacturers of these electronic devices heed our message and remove this blight from existence. Never again should any woman live in fear, knowing that the caps lock key looms ominously under-palm.
I realize, that a battle this large, for this cause is quite fruitless, but this will at least spread the word of this great evil of the electronic world we live in, so that such an immense symbol of hatred against women, while still in existence, shall no longer go unseen. Now that you have learned of the demoralizing aspects of this seemingly harmless piece of plastic, I urge you, sign this petition and join the crusade against tyranny. Join us in defiance of this contaminator of gender equality.