Independence From Tighty-Whities

We the undersigned formally request that our dear friend Mo immediately cease and desist from wearing tighty-whities. While we understand that this transition is dramatic, we, the undersigned, pledge our support through this time of change.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that underwear long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while bad underwear is sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

While we make no claims as to the superiority of either boxer-briefs or boxers, we firmly believe that either alternative is superior to tighty-whities.

To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

1) Boxers and Boxer-briefs make the balls happier.
2) Women like Boxers and Boxer-briefs better.
3) Boxers and Boxer-briefs smell less at the end of the day
4) Boxers and Boxer-briefs are not discolored at the end of the day
5) In the event of emergency Boxers and Boxer-briefs can be worn in sequential days, the same cannot be said of tighty-whities
6) One can walk around other people in Boxers and Boxer-briefs the same cannot be said of tighty-whities
7) Boxers and Boxer-briefs have more creative options than tighty-whities
8) Boxers and Boxer-briefs are easier to put on and (wink wink) remove
9) Tighty-whities are worn by men young and old, but if you are over 15 and under 60 you should wear Boxers or Boxer-briefs
10) Europeans wear Speedos and tighty-whities

For these reasons listed above, we the undersigned do formally submit, that Mo should abandon tighty-whities to a greater freer future of Boxers or Boxer-Briefs