Not Even Chelsea

Inspired by all the brilliant, patriotic Americans who won't vote for Obama until they have their feelings soothed by him for beating Hillary, we the undersigned won't vote for another Clinton, ever, because our feelings have been hurt by the brilliant, patriotic Americans who won't vote for Obama until they have their feelings soothed. You people are an inspiration to all of us, with your willingness to put your own pride and fanaticism ahead of the good of the country, and to call it something other than petty, dishonest whining really puts the icing on the cake. We salute you the only way we know how: by doing something as stupid and childish as possible. A month ago, a protest like this would have seemed -- what's the word? -- retarded and self-destructive, but you've shown us the light.

Not Hillary, Not Bill, Not Even Chelsea.