Rename Colbert, Georgia, after Stephen Colbert

The achievements of Sir Dr. Stephen Tyrone Colbert are legendary despite his extreme youth:

Whereas at a mere 45 years of age, Sir Dr. Colbert has won four Emmy Awards, two Peabody Awards, and a Grammy Award (Nobel Committee, take note)...

Whereas Sir Dr. Colbert has received an honorary Doctorate of Fine Arts degree from Knox College (the honor is theirs)...

Whereas Sir Dr. Colbert has coined numerous words in the English language, including "Megamerican," "truthiness," and "wikiality" (as verified at wikipedia.com)...

Whereas Sir Dr. Colbert was knighted by Queen Noor of Jordan (hubba hubba) and given the Key to the City of Columbia, South Carolina, by its esteemed Mayor, Bob Coble (bubba bubba)...

Whereas Dr. Colbert has overcome two major disabilities: a deaf, deformed right ear and a college degree in communication...

And whereas Air Colbert, an airplane in the fleet of Virgin Airlines; Stephen Colbert Day, a holiday in Oshawa, Canada; Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream, a flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream; and Aptostichus stephencolberti, a trap door spider, have all been named after this magnificent creature (Mr. Colbert)...

We hereby request that Sir Dr. Colbert's name be placed once and for all on the map---literally.

Our work is already halfway done. In northeast Georgia, just across the border from Sir Dr. Colbert's home state of South Carolina, lies the town of Colbert (population: 488; area: .9 square miles.)

Sadly, the town's name has long been misprounouned "Colbert," or "Call Burt," as in, "Someone CALL BURT Reynolds---Dancing With the Stars has an opening."

In recognition of his (Colbert's) many monumental achievements, we, the undersigned, hereby petition the government of Colbert, Georgia, to rename the town "Colbert," pronounced "Coal Bear," as in, "Is that bear made out of coal? Yes, it's a COAL BEAR."

Please join in our effort to put Sir Dr. Stephen Colbert into the history books forever, or at least, into the geography books for a while.