Return U.S. to U.K.

We, the Undersigned, considering the rebellion of 1776 as having no sound basis in international law, and deploring the results of same, and with great respect for Her Majesty's duly constituted government and the people and traditions of the United Kingdom, respectfully request:

1. That the United States of America be returned to the rightful dominion of the United Kingdom; and

2. That all United States government officials swear fealty to the Crown and to Parliament on pain of impeachment; and

3. That all members of the United States armed forces swear fealty to the Crown and to Parliament on pain of dismissal; and

4. That the Declaration of Independence, United States Constitution, and acts of Congress, Executive Orders, and laws of the States be made expressly subordinate to the laws of the United Kingdom and, where inconsistent, rendered null and void; and

5. That all United States visas, passports, and military identification papers be revoked and replaced with United Kingdom counterparts; and

6. That the United States be considered a signatory-by-proxy to the charter of the European Union as well as all treaties and agreements to which the United Kingdom has assented; and

7. That Parliament appoint Royal Governors to the States as it had before the recent unpleasantness; and

8. That the Constitution of each State be restored to the language it used in 1776, or, where the State did not exist in 1776, be rewritten to comport with a system of Parliamentary, colonial government; and

9. That the Church of England be recognized as the official church of the American colonies; and

10. That all privileges and duties which attach to citizenship in the United Kingdom attach to citizens of the former United States, modified to account for the subordination of the colonies to the Crown.