Monkeys for All!!
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Dear Americans,
Have you ever gotten bored with your dog or cat? Did you ever wish you had a pet that could hold your beer for you? Maybe even light your cigarettes? The answer to this is, of course, a monkey. Why is it so hard to find a monkey as a pet? I have dreamed of having a monkey since I was a wee lad in Pennsylvania. I've been to pet stores, and I see plenty of cats, dogs, fish, etc. Never one single monkey. This makes me both sad and angry. Why shouldn't we be able to have a monkey? I know a lot of you agree with me.
This petition is intended for all of you monkey lovers out there who just want one to sit on their shoulder and hold their smokes. And for those of you who want to dress one up and hold its hand down the street. Or for all of you who want to just let him sit down and beat you. We, as Americans, in the land of the free, should have this right to a monkey. There is nothing better than watching a monkey sniff his anus, or play with himself.
One final thought, monkeys, once made legal as pets, should cost no more than $24.99 plus appropriate taxes. Please join me in this monkey revolution and I appreciate your support.
Have you ever gotten bored with your dog or cat? Did you ever wish you had a pet that could hold your beer for you? Maybe even light your cigarettes? The answer to this is, of course, a monkey. Why is it so hard to find a monkey as a pet? I have dreamed of having a monkey since I was a wee lad in Pennsylvania. I've been to pet stores, and I see plenty of cats, dogs, fish, etc. Never one single monkey. This makes me both sad and angry. Why shouldn't we be able to have a monkey? I know a lot of you agree with me.
This petition is intended for all of you monkey lovers out there who just want one to sit on their shoulder and hold their smokes. And for those of you who want to dress one up and hold its hand down the street. Or for all of you who want to just let him sit down and beat you. We, as Americans, in the land of the free, should have this right to a monkey. There is nothing better than watching a monkey sniff his anus, or play with himself.
One final thought, monkeys, once made legal as pets, should cost no more than $24.99 plus appropriate taxes. Please join me in this monkey revolution and I appreciate your support.
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Shoutbox
Goal
200 signatures
Goal: 100
Latest Signatures
26 December 2015
11 December 2015
199.
Kevin Neverscubr
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They had people sitting on top of the mail boxes. Many mail boxes were shut from the inside so that mail could not be deposited. They illegally intercepted our mail (stole our mail) and email. Everywhere you went, they were: "IN YOUR FACE!!!". They swarme
21 November 2015
198.
Justin B
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Add laser beams to their heads for home defense against any terrorist that may attack the unsuspecting undersigned
14 November 2015
26 August 2015
16 August 2015
25 July 2015
2 July 2015
16 June 2015
192.
Heather E
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I love monkeys and I want one as a pet so bad but it is so hard to find one. I agree that they should be cheaper and easier to find.
16 June 2015
30 April 2015
190.
Matthew Jc
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Thank You! I have been thinking of a monkey my whole life and now it must happen or i will tweak out!
24 April 2015
2 April 2015
5 March 2015
20 February 2015
186.
Jon H
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I also need a false beak for my monkey, so that I can dress him/her up as a stork, flamingo or pigeon.
30 January 2015
18 January 2015
31 December 2014
30 November 2014
7 October 2014
14 September 2014
17 August 2014
7 June 2014
27 March 2014
177.
Shamus Ji
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Get me my monkey ,Bush, if not ...I'll settle for Dick Cheney In a Gorilla suit wrestling Jessie Helms in a kiddie pool full of rancid, discarded depends undergarments.
27 March 2014
Information
By:
Minnie Mills
In:
-
Petition target:
President George W. Bush (or whoever handles monkey/people relations)
President George W. Bush (or whoever handles monkey/people relations)
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