British Columbians Demand Global Warming

We the undersigned feel strongly about global warming, and demand immediate response. We citizens of Earth have been threatened continuously that the earth has been heating up for the past 50 or so years. Al Gore and David Suzuki have been pushing the global warming crises, continuously whipping the media into a frenzy.

The problem is that it seems the earth is actually cooling. Proponents of Global Warming have even changed their message to "Global Climate Change". This is not what we have been promised! You can't get everyone excited about the temperature increasing, then say that sometimes it goes down too. Which is it? Is it heating up, or cooling down?

The laws of physics state that the warmer an object is, the faster it will radiate heat, and the slower it will absorb heat. Al Gore promised us that it wouldn't matter that the sun was temporarily hot, just that the earth is heating up because I drive a crappy car. A lot.

In British Columbia, we have been saddled with a Carbon Tax. The purpose of this Carbon Tax was to offset the heating of the earth. However, if the earth is cooling (because the sun is cooling) our tax would be considered un-fair. In order to make this tax fair, we propose the Government of British Columbia find some way to implement the promised Global Warming.

We will accept no substitute! We have paid our carbon tax like good citizens. We now demand the global warming that we have paid for.