I'm Stalking Jake's Totally Unnecessary and Unsuccessful Petition for Jake Gyllenhaal to Create a Twitter Account
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He has no (viable) official website, no known social networking profiles, and for the past five years, grossly inadequate impersonators have been imitating him online. Currently, close to 5,000 people are being duped on Twitter by an impostor who puts up pictures of random dogs and claims they're Boo (who, of course, has been gone for three years now...WHERE IS THE RESEARCH).
With Jake's online image being crafted by self-serving opportunists and general morons (this author included amongst the latter), it is in his best interest to have some sort of personal input to deflect that which complete strangers make up about him. A Twitter account would serve this purpose and also allow for him to practice his abbreviation skills.
(And since we all know that's probably not going to happen, updating *anything* online for Jake would suffice, even if it comes from someone associated with Jake and not from Jake himself [because I know we freak him out...and for good reason].)
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