No On The Road Movie!

It was with indescribable shock and horror that I learnt of the film version of the great Jack Kerouac novel "On The Road", which is currently in production and scheduled to be released in 2007. My shock was doubled, and my horror trebled, when it came to my attention that the film will be directed by Walter Salles, aka "The Great Brazilian Hack".

Net savvy Kerouac fans everywhere are stumbling on to this unapetizing bit of movie gossip, and their colletive grief is so great, no amount of corn whiskey or Buddhist sutras can cheer them up. "On The Road" is revered by millions of Americans and, indeed, people all over the world as a book as important as the Bible, only with less serious global consequences; Kerouac-worship has never been known to instigate war, at worst it instigates improper hygiene. To the people of the Cult of Kerouac (or Duluozians) a crappy Hollywood film version of OTR playing in theatres everywhere will cause irreperable damage to their faith in the eyes of the general public. Also, initial screenings of the film will prompt so many peolpe to go on line and write how terrible it is, that web servers everywhere will crash, with dire ramifications for the American economy.

We, the People for the Prevention of Jack Kerouac Turning Over In His Grave (or PPJKTOIHG) demand of the producers an instant cease to the production of the "On The Road" movie. We ask that Walter Salles be deported to Brazil, IMDb using stop suggesting Johnny Depp as "ideal" to play Sal Paradise, and Francis Ford Coppola to destroy the movie rights to "On The Road" by fire. And well he`s at, we ask that he destroy the original prints of "The Godfather Part 3", too.

Failure to comply with this urgent demand will result in riots, suicides, and bitter wine binges in the great sad streets of the gone American night.

Yes man, yes!