Please make me rich.

Dear American budgeteers,

Currently, I do not have any "mad money." I have worked towards attaining some in various ways--my local employment agency is getting sick of my face; attempts at selling things off have resulted in negligible returns; no one will buy my ovaries on eBay; so on and on.

The fact of the matter is, had I oodles of cash, I would instantly spend it on

a) comics
b) video games
c) DVDs
d) ponies

which would obviously stimulate the economy dramatically.

Now, Mr. American Government, you may look me in the eye and say: Anne, you are a notorious sharer, and sharing is no way to grow no economy. To which I say, if I was rich, I would NEVER loan ANYTHING to ANYONE. I would just buy them their own outright. Also, I would probably go see movies all the dang time, single-handedly offsetting the losses of movie piracy I bet somehow.

Therefore, it would be in all of our best interests were I, Anne Moloney, to be dirty stinking rich. And I mean so burdened with filthy lucre that I have to spend a few thousand every hour just to keep my wallet from rupturing.

Together, we can do this, American Government.

IF YOU HAVE THE BALLS.