Save the New York Times Book Review

WHEREAS, The New York Times Book Review, under the editorship of Sam Tanenhaus, has become a sham of a weekly book review section, reflecting neither the current literary climate nor anything even approximating "review coverage";

WHEREAS, The New York Times Book Review, under the editorship of Sam Tanenhaus, currently inhabits a 19th century attitude in the 21st century: that girlies write fiction reviews and men (REAL MEN!) write reviews of nonfiction AND fiction;

WHEREAS, said attitude is likely one of the reasons why so many women allegedly turned down Tanenhaus's invitation to join the Best Contemporary Fiction Since 1980 list, said list featuring some of the most predictable and unvariegated names fathomable;

WHEREAS, Sam Tanenhaus actually believes Jonathan Franzen's THE CORRECTIONS to be a major novel;

WHEREAS, Sam Tanenhaus commissioned a review of Mark Felt's book authored by John Dean, demonstrating that ethics and intergrity are certainly not his strong suits (perhaps this is why Tanenhaus was so interested in Whittaker Chambers?);

WHEREAS, publishers still believe that a book lives or dies on a NYTBR review when, in fact, the section has failed to live up to "book" or "review" in the past three years;

WHEREAS, Sam Tanenhaus is so humorless that he actually utters such sentences as "We are under no obligation to acknowledge the brownies" in a serious tone;

WHEREAS, Sam Tanenhaus isn't man enough to talk with a dissenting reporter about these many issues;

AND, WHEREAS, the New York Times Book Review has so much potential that it is squandering on gossipy and decidedly non-literary junk,

IT IS HEREBY DECLARED that Sam Tanenhaus should voluntarily resign or be removed as editor of the New York Times Book Review and hand over the keys to someone who is more capable of (a) suitably chronicling the current literary clime, (b) capable of attracting more readers to its pages without having to browbeat his chest with such silly sentences as "We are the New York Times!" and (c) not so ponderous and humorless.