The Paris Hilton Petition
Sign Now
My dear friends. It is clear that you, by your passage of the "do not call" list and the upcoming "do not spam" list, are committed to the proposition that all people should be allowed to live without constant, harping annoyance from exploitative corporations and swindlers. This is a laudable and commendable effort; however, it does not go far enough.
Daily, we receive hundreds of emails. These emails clog our mailboxes with titles such as "Paris Hilton sex video" or, "Paris Hilton (censored)". Also, we are plagued by hundreds of emails that both insult and patronize us by demanding that we buy products to make our wedding tackle larger. I, for one, have an adequate wedding tackle, as do many others. These emails not only insult and plague us; they take advantage of the stupid and insecure men who fall prey to these largely foreign hucksters. They are snake oil salesmen.
The people of the United States have had enough. We demand action by our government on this issue. As such, we make the following requests:
"Paris Hilton" and "penis enlargement" emails should be banned.
The companies that send these emails should be fined $1,000, per email, to be paid to elderly swindling victims.
Authors of these emails should have to:
-Register in the Sex Offender Database
-Publicly apologize to all who have received their emails
-Serve a four year prison sentence in federal prison
-Lose their gambling, alcohol, and driving privileges
-Serve 10,000 hours of community service
This, of course, is just a start. The FBI, also, should be charged with finding and prosecuting all of those people who send us emails claiming they have vicodin and date rape drugs.
Please help us.
Daily, we receive hundreds of emails. These emails clog our mailboxes with titles such as "Paris Hilton sex video" or, "Paris Hilton (censored)". Also, we are plagued by hundreds of emails that both insult and patronize us by demanding that we buy products to make our wedding tackle larger. I, for one, have an adequate wedding tackle, as do many others. These emails not only insult and plague us; they take advantage of the stupid and insecure men who fall prey to these largely foreign hucksters. They are snake oil salesmen.
The people of the United States have had enough. We demand action by our government on this issue. As such, we make the following requests:
"Paris Hilton" and "penis enlargement" emails should be banned.
The companies that send these emails should be fined $1,000, per email, to be paid to elderly swindling victims.
Authors of these emails should have to:
-Register in the Sex Offender Database
-Publicly apologize to all who have received their emails
-Serve a four year prison sentence in federal prison
-Lose their gambling, alcohol, and driving privileges
-Serve 10,000 hours of community service
This, of course, is just a start. The FBI, also, should be charged with finding and prosecuting all of those people who send us emails claiming they have vicodin and date rape drugs.
Please help us.
Sign The Petition
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Goal
100 signatures
Goal: 100
Latest Signatures
25 December 2015
22 November 2015
6 November 2015
3 October 2015
10 September 2015
29 August 2015
28 July 2015
27 June 2015
17 June 2015
18 May 2015
7 April 2015
90.
East Stlouismotel
|
Hey! I'm named after a famous city and lodging chain too! How come no one flocks to me and asks for my autograph or porn videos?
25 March 2015
89.
Drsamba Wolfe
|
Has anybody bothered read the petition? This petition is not about putting Paris Hilton in jail (although it's a damn good idea!). It is about locking up and otherwise punishing spammers, which is a really damn good idea.
10 March 2015
22 February 2015
19 February 2015
18 January 2015
17 November 2014
17 September 2014
22 August 2014
16 August 2014
81.
Karen Quinn
|
Paris Hilton is lucky she didn't kill anyone and the 45 days she got are not nearly enough. Just because you are a Hilton doesn't make you special. In fact pigs behave better than you.
27 July 2014
21 February 2014
16 February 2014
78.
Alyssa Cuevas
|
I totally agree. people shouldn't have to live with that disgusting kind of thing.
30 January 2014
16 January 2014
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