Orgasm Warning Labels for the Will Balance Board
Sign Now
The danger presented by the Wii Balance Board to female gamers, as evidenced by the case of a 24-year-old woman from the UK who was turned into a raging nymphomaniac after she slipped and fell off the device, simply cannot be overstated. As the victim herself noted, there is no cure for her condition, and she struggles through each day sustained only by the hope that, "One day, I'll find a superstud who can satisfy me."
As concerned gamers, we hereby demand that Nintendo affix warning labels to all Wii Balance Boards, including those already in the field, informing women of the perils they may face should they suffer an unfortunate and ill-timed tumble. Something along the lines of, "Intense orgasm may result from the misuse of this device" will do. The labels should be large, brightly coloured and feature some sort of logo based on a stylized image of heaving bosoms.
Furthermore, we also request that Nintendo undertake a high-visibility marketing campaign in support of this initiative, using the slogan "You Don't Have to Fall Off to Get Off," or some variation thereof, which should appear on websites, in magazines and on television. We have a right to be informed!
As concerned gamers, we hereby demand that Nintendo affix warning labels to all Wii Balance Boards, including those already in the field, informing women of the perils they may face should they suffer an unfortunate and ill-timed tumble. Something along the lines of, "Intense orgasm may result from the misuse of this device" will do. The labels should be large, brightly coloured and feature some sort of logo based on a stylized image of heaving bosoms.
Furthermore, we also request that Nintendo undertake a high-visibility marketing campaign in support of this initiative, using the slogan "You Don't Have to Fall Off to Get Off," or some variation thereof, which should appear on websites, in magazines and on television. We have a right to be informed!
Sign The Petition
Continue with Google
OR
If you already have an account please sign in, otherwise register an account for free then sign the petition filling the fields below.
Email and password will be your account data, you will be able to sign other petitions after logging in.
Shoutbox
Goal
150 signatures
Goal: 1,000
Latest Signatures
10 December 2015
25 November 2015
2 October 2015
22 July 2015
10 July 2015
9 July 2015
25 June 2015
14 June 2015
25 February 2015
142.
Madges V
|
You might've told me this sooner. I've been vadgaculating all week. www.madgesvadge.com/blog
24 February 2015
3 February 2015
24 November 2014
24 October 2014
13 October 2014
6 September 2014
18 July 2014
11 July 2014
134.
Dirk H
|
Obviously, this is just another plot in the ongoing campaign by the videogame industry to corrupt our youth. First they turned everyone into violent murderers, and now they're turning everyone into crazed sex-addicts. I hear Nintendo's next console will c
23 June 2014
8 May 2014
13 March 2014
131.
John S
|
I for one find it disgraceful that Nintendo would continue to market the balance board without warning its users of the possible risk associated
7 February 2014
19 December 2013
23 November 2013
23 July 2013
127.
Tim D
|
I think it is outragious that the public aren't aware of the risks whilst using this perpiheral for the wii, which is supposedly a"Family" console!
30 June 2013
Tags
No tags
Embed Codes
direct link
link for html
link for forum without title
link for forum with title
