A Knighthood for Richard Whiteley

"News just in. Richard Whiteley converted to Islam just before he died. Either that or he was just making an elaborate pun that everybody missed."

"My visits here are becoming all the more infrequent."

"Mark, you've got good potential and could make the 2012 Olympics, but your laptop is just slowing you down!"

"Queen Elizabeth, you can give out as many Knighthoods as you want. But be careful because if you're too promiscuous, you'll get AIDS and that's a bad thing."

"As is often the case with people who are famous for activities unrelated to football, Richard was a promising footballer in his teens and could have gone professional, but then had to make the agonising decision between pursuing a football career or a car"

"Richard Whiteley - killed by the London bombs. That night was the darkest night for me but perhaps Richard can make up for this to be the darkest ever knight. Amen to you all!"

"On behalf of my fellow blacks, I'm sorry not have included any white people in these riots, but it was on a first come first served basis, and everyone knows that black people run faster. 'THOOD!"

"good luck on your journeys, Richard. I will remember you! *raises a toast to the king of conundrums!*"

"They call me horticultural barry, because of my great interest in the Steel Industry. Please give him a knighthood, your majesty."

"In true Countdown style, I'm the third half!"

"Don't give Richard Whiteley a Knighthood. I get the feeling that out of everyone, I will be the one person that they listen to."

"Truly the most important petition on this site"

"The rough equivalent of a Knighthood in Germany is just having very long arms. They are not awarded. You just have them or not, so this bypasses petitions like this one. It's brutal but it's easily settled."

"I support this petition. What I don't support is you, Stuart, behaving like a child with your tired old catchphrases and stage persona. And your lack of proof-reading appalls me. Grow up!"

"I had a dream. In it was being chased by Richard, who was all dressed up like a medieval knight. Then he turned into a goose and I flew up into the clouds and had a fight with a ghost. It was a cool dream. Please give a knighthood to Richard."

"Terry: the meetup will be held in Shoreditch tube station, on the northern line benches, but we will be moving on to Chalk Farm. Remember if you want to come dressed as Richard, please let us know beforehand so we can issue you your own desk."

"Richard used to joke about that ear. He'd look up and say "That's barbaric. Who stuck a skewer through that ear lobe?""

"Sorry, did I say Richard Whiteley? I meant Richard Branson! I think I can still count these signatures."

"Richard Whiteley was a sinner against mankind and against himself. Whether that alone is enough to earn a Knighthood is about as moot as it gets. Moot - but Richard wouldn't pass an MOT."

"Richard Whiteley would eat only salt on a recording day. He swore by it."